Ask the Sex Doc: Sex Doc can cure blue balls

Dear Sex Doc;
I'm a 17-year-old virgin and plan on keeping it that way for some time. My boyfriend and I ‘fool around' a lot though. Problem is that he says I turn him on so much that he always gets blue balls. He says they hurt. Do his balls actually turn blue?
Almost Pure at UNBC


Dear Almost Pure at UNBC;
No his balls do not turn blue. And, if you ever do see a pair of blue balls I'd suggest you run like hell. It might mean he's got some funky disease, hasn't cleaned his berries since he was 12, or that he froze his knackers tobogganing last winter.

Your boyfriend's problem is that he's had a raging hard-on for too long. And, if he's around your age, that's pretty common. Teen boys constantly have perpetual boners. Most of the discomfort your dude feels is not in his sac, but in his perineum — the area between his balls and his anus. The perineum (chouda or taint) is a muscle that gets strained when a guy has a perma-boner.

Furthermore, when a man is aroused his nuts fill with blood (vasocongest) and grow about 15 per cent. This too can be painful if the blood remains in the testis for an extended length of time.

So when his dick turned towel rack won't go down, he feels like his balls are going to implode. Believe me, they won't.

No matter how much he says he's going to die if he doesn't get off, it really isn't going to kill him. The pain from ‘blue balls' can be relieved from ejaculating, but his family jewels won't spontaneously combust if he doesn't.

So Almost Pure, if you are ‘fooling around' with mutual masturbation or oral sex, you can always help him out. However, you should never feel pressured to go all the way.

The quickest solution is to send him to the bathroom to finish himself off. I'm sure he has plenty of experience with that.

Dear Sex Doc;
My left breast is bigger than my right one. I'm kind of embarrassed about it. I stuff my bra so I look normal. I just met a guy and I'm worried about taking my shirt off in front of him. What should I do?
Lopsided Lola at Grant MacEwan College


Dear Lopsided Lola at Grant MacEwan College;
Unless we're talking balloon to golf ball sized differences in the girls, you're perfectly normal. In fact, research shows that 40 per cent of women have different shaped breasts. Knockers often develop unevenly during adolescence. So Lola, if you're still developing, they could even out.

Women put so much pressure on themselves to look perfect. Girls often ask themselves if their titties are they too small, too big, too firm, and/or too saggy? Lola, you and the rest of your sisters need to embrace what your mama gave you, whether you think they're Pamelas or not.

And, you shouldn't be too concerned with showing your ill-matched boobs to your new fellow. If he makes a disparaging comment, ask to see his balls. Chances are one is bigger and hangs lower than the other. Tit for tat.

By the way, male and female bodies are not perfectly symmetrical. We all need to be happy with the body we have.

Dear Sex Doc;
How do I know if I have a STD?
Burns When I Pee at BCIT


Dear Burns When I Pee at BCIT;
If it feels like you're pissing razor blades when you tinkle you've probably got a sexually transmitted infection (STI). Although it is also possible the pain in your privates is due to a bladder or urinary infection. If you do have a STI you've probably got either chlamydia or gonorrhea. Both are bacteria infections that can be passed through oral, anal, or vaginal sex.

Chlamydia is very common among college aged (15-24-year-olds) individuals. And, girls are twice as likely as the boys to contract it.

The most common symptoms for STIs are itchy genitals, sores around the genitals, anus, or throat, genital discharge, and a burning sensation during urination.

However, 80 to 90 per cent of women and 40 to 50 per cent of men show no signs or symptoms for chlamydia and/or gonorrhea.

Therefore, it is extremely important to get tested regularly and to use condoms and dental dams to protect your self from these infections.

You can get anonymous, nonjudgmental testing at STI clinics across Canada. To find the nearest clinic contact your local health authority or call your closest Planned Parenthood.

Dr. Brian Parker is a clinical sexologist and sex educator and the co-creator of two sexual intimacy board games “Embrace” and “Pillow Talk.” The games are available on his website, www.foreverpleasure.com which features original erotic art, high-end sensual products and adult sex education.

This column is made possible by the generous support of O'My Natural Lubricants. If you have a sexual question you want answered in the ‘Ask the Sex Doc' column please email drbrian@foreverpleasure.com and watch for his response in this paper.