Losing your mobile virginity

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Keep your sexting fun, sexy and consenting. Consent is key whether or not your sexual interactions are in person.

Whether you’re in a long distance relationship, away on a business trip, or just looking to build anticipation during the day, sexting can be a great way to be intimate with your partner while you are apart. It can also help reduce awkwardness if the two of you haven’t actually had sex yet, or be used to explore fantasies or different interests that you might feel uncomfortable about initially.

Fair warning guys: it’s a terrible idea to open with a dick pic.

Be sure that whomever you’re texting is comfortable with the conversation, and if they ask you to stop or take things down a notch, be sure to listen. Consent is key whether it’s in person or not.

It’s also important to make sure that you’re messaging the right person. The last thing anyone needs is to be texting their mother inappropriately. You should also respect your partner’s privacy, and avoid passing any texts or pictures around among friends.

There are smart phone apps that can help if you’re having difficulty. One of these is Snapchat, which allows you to send pictures or videos that only last a few seconds.

While spontaneity can be a good thing, be careful about sending racy pictures in the middle of a regular conversation because you never know who could be standing next to your recipient.

There’s also a similar app called Frankly, which gives you the option to actually un-send a message.

Getting the conversation started can be a little awkward if it’s the first time, but that’s only natural, and could possibly be a good thing. The subtle build-up of tension as well as anticipation are important in sexting. You also need to be imaginative while creating scenarios in your messages. Creativity is important to keep things interesting, and both partners have to be getting into the conversation. Having to do all the work is never a turn on.

You may want to avoid using the cliché “So what’re you wearing?” unless using it ironically to start the conversation lightly. Opening with asking if the person is alone may also come off as a little creepy, so be careful with how it’s phrased.

The conversation may go in different directions depending on whether it’s during the day or at night, for example, you could focus on something like, “What would you like to do later?” or “What would we be doing if we were together?”

You also don’t want to phrase anything in a way that you normally wouldn’t in person, otherwise the conversation can sound awkward or forced. Your partner may also begin to expect future in-person encounters to have the same kind of interaction. Posturing and making empty promises are good ways to avoid anything happening in the future.

Avoid silly euphemisms like bang or boink, as well as food terminology for male and female sex organs. You aren’t writing a harlequin novel. Some more examples of things you probably wouldn’t want to say are things like:

“I have a JOB opportunity for you. Interested?”

“I am tired of sending you texts or speaking on the phone. Why don’t you come here and sit on top of me?”

“How did you feel when I groped you in a public place last night… in my dream?”

These are just some of the terrible suggestions you might find in online forums.

Sexting while drunk can also take a turn for the worst, much like actually trying to have sex after a few too many. There’s nothing wrong with having a drink to relax, but no one likes it sloppy.