Seriously what the hell just happened? Game-week five in the Barclay’s Premier League was one of those weekends where the football deities looked down upon the league, saw the script that was written, and promptly tore it up and gave the pen to an insane child.

Let’s start with Liverpool, a team last year known for blindingly fast starts and smashing opponents into submission with an overpowering forward line, defensive issues be damned. This season, however, the only tradition The Reds are continuing onwards is the latter one.

They suffered a 3-1 defeat to West Ham United – a team known for being the polar opposite style – yet it was The Hammers who were on the scoresheet in less than a minute. Injuries and the loss of Luis Suarez aside, Liverpool look a shell of the team they were last season and back to back defeats against “smaller” clubs has set a negative pall over the season so far.

Manchester United’s continued struggles remain a source of amazement and amusement, depending on which side of the fandom fence you sit on.

After a massive outlay on attacking players in the summer, including Angel Di Maria and Radamel Falcao, the fallen giants were supposed to be a newly risen force in the league. For 70 minutes at 3-1 against newly promoted Leicester City that looked to be true but all of a sudden the new boys has scored four goals without reply, and the whole country was laughing again.

It’s become increasingly clear that the problems last season run far deeper then with the manager, as Louis Van Gaal appears to be doing even worse than his predecessor, who is looking more and more like a scapegoat.

At the peak of the table, Chelsea and Manchester City faced off in the battle of the blue billionaires, a battle between two mercenary clubs formed on the dollar of a foreign owner with more money than many of the world’s nations. Their detractors will point out these facts as the reason that the clubs have lost their “souls,” but Chelsea fans had one man that they could always count on to keep them tied to the era before the money. Frank Lampard’s 13-year career with the club saw him become one of the best players in the history of the Premier League, with 147 goals from midfield, and surprisingly came to an end when the club did not renew his contract. Lampard, like many others his age, set his sights on the MLS, signing with new club New York City FC, a club who shares owners with Manchester City.

In one of the more surprising moves of the season, Lampard signed with Man. City on a loan deal for the MLS offseason, one that was dismissed as a mere training move.

“He’ll never play, he loves the club too much,” insisted one anonymous Chelsea fan.

But with such a talented man on the roster, it would be unwise not use him, and that’s what they did this weekend, bringing on the Chelsea hero at 1-0 and a man down in an attempt to shore up the midfield. It just had to be, my mouth dropped open but at the same time I wasn’t surprised, the ball came in, Lampard struck, and all of a sudden people in the wrong shade of blue were celebrating his goal. His teammates were jubilant, Lampard looked ill, and a buddy of mine cracked a bottle of rum at 11 a.m.

It’s weeks like these that make this league so special. May we have a few more like this before the season is out?