CREDIT: WOBBLY CHESS
Wobble Chess is an award-winning Canadian-made game that comes with a $250 price tag.

Most board games have remained the exact same for generations, comforting traditions that have been part of family life for years. Yet with the dawn of the Internet, the world now has an unprecedented access to the most annoying, overpriced and unnecessary editions and twists that the most sadistically minded game designers could think of.

1. Luxury Monopoly: $200
In 1935, Parker Brothers developed “Family/Friend Fight- Starter,” more commonly known throughout the world as Monopoly, a board game where the sole objective is conquer the real estate world and laugh maniacally as you slowly bleed your grandmother's colourful bank account dry (source: me at 10 years old). Over the years the game has taken on thousands of editions covering every aspect of pop culture, politics, and food brands (Heinz ketchup Monopoly is a real thing), yet voices everywhere have been calling out for a version that truly captured the elitist, capitalist spirit of the game.

This must be true, because how else do you explain a gold-foil Monopoly board laid out on a two-tone wooden cabinet that Ron Burgundy himself would be proud to display in his apartment? The perfect tool for anyone with too much money to show off where they learned how to get it, this centrepiece does away with the measly plastic houses and pewter race cars we all grew up with in favour of “this totally isn't a waste of money” plated gold pieces and silver houses. It's perfect if your last name rhymes with Rump.

2. Vertical Chess: $300
Ever sat through a gruelling, mentally exhausting, two-hour game of chess and thought, “Damn, I really wish I was doing this standing up”? Ever find that you can't beat your dad in chess while his dimensional perspectives are in order? Or do you just need a wall piece that makes you seem like you spend your time doing things other than surfing the Internet for your article lists?

Fortunately, someone has answered your call and developed Vertical Chess, a hanging chess board designed to hang in that special bit of wall space that most people reserve for actual art or beer posters. This new version of chess is sure to strain both your mind and your knees, while infuriating fundamentalists who can't play chess without sitting behind his pieces like they are a tiny army. Or is that just me?

3. Wobble Chess: $250
A Canadian-made, award-winning exercise in frustration, and another strange bastardization of the world's most stuck-up game, Wobble Chess does nothing to change the rules, style or method of play that every chess player loves, which technically should have ruled it out of this list. But for what is lacks in bending the rules it makes up for in the pure frustration that comes in having every single one of your chess pieces constantly rotating, bending and being tailor made for a cat to chase into the dark abyss that exists under the furniture never to be seen again. Now, instead of a comforting background murmur while you carefully contemplate your next move you can be distracted by the constant clicking of the ball bearings at the bottom of every piece. Sure to be a perfect gift for any chess fan you care little about.